Return to The Residents 2020: "We will be grateful for life in ways we never felt possible before"

Let’s just get the awkward thing out of the way.

What started as a break to re-energise before my wedding has turned into a rather awkward entrance back into the blogosphere on the cusp of a once-in-multi-generation health and economic crisis.

I am, of course, talking about the escalation of the Covid-19 pandemic.

During the majority of my honeymoon in Tokyo with Matt, we were happily oblivious to news updates about coronavirus. We had a great time seeing the sights and catching up with our friends who live there (full Tokyo guide coming soon!). Yes, there was hand sanitiser everywhere, and many people wearing masks, but we were assured that the situation was no different from seasonal flu. At this stage, it was all relatively business-as-usual, just another major story that the media was focusing on.

On the last day, 29 February 2020, most public venues, such as Disneyland, Museums, and Galleries closed. As we caught our flight home, Narita airport was eerily quiet. Phil, our friend, confirmed this was seriously unusual.

On arrival back in Wellington, my work told me to work from home for two weeks because I had been overseas. I was somewhat unsurprised but secretly looking forward to a chance to properly re-do my capsule wardrobe inspired by The Anna Edit. The novelty factor came and went, and by the last few days, I was looking forward to getting back to the office and rejoining the human race.

Then - two days after going back - it was announced that the whole office would be moving to work from home.

This was not good.

After having already spent two weeks at home, and starting to feel ratty, I was worried about how this was going to impact me and my mental health.

Now there is a new kind of normal and in the space of one week we have had to come to grips with the idea that this pandemic is changing the world forever.

First, I just want to acknowledge that this is a really strange time for all. Working from home, self-isolation, fights, worry, family drama, seriously scary unemployment discussions - it’s all happening. It is entirely rational and sensible to be concerned. It’s okay to feel anxious. It’s ok to feel depressed. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to feel shocked. It’s okay to feel everything. Allow it all.

Second, I am so grateful I am near my loved ones and family. This of course includes my Mum, Dad, Brother, Matt’s family and best friends, many who have stayed in Wellington and not gone overseas. It also includes the garden of Wellingtonians with whom I have cultivated friendships over the last 4 years. Margaret Hema, David Playle, Ashleigh Church, Sophie Kasoylides from the Greek Food Truck and many, many more, including you, amazing readers who have been showing up here for blog post after blog post.

Third, I am conscious that many of us have friends and family in overseas countries and that we’re worried about them. I send you love and hugs and want to let you know we’re here. Don’t suffer through your worries alone.

Fourth, many of us, need to adapt to a new normal. I must admit that I’m now on my third week working from home and so I’m starting to have to put in place a bit more structure. Some ideas are:

1. Organising a morning coffee, either in real life (distance permitting) with a colleague you like, at a set time. My colleague Bethany and I have met at Sweet Mother’s Kitchen for the last couple of mornings for a coffee, just like we would most mornings. This routine is giving me a sense of normality and a chance to talk about any updates in our lives and with Covid 19, face to face.

2. Take a shower and get dressed at the same time you would normally each day. Put on makeup and wear clothes you like.

3. Eat good food. Now is not the time to binge on Dominoes. Stock up the fridge with foods you like and make them nutritious and healthy. Soups, stews, minestrone and roasts which last multiple meals are all perfect and cosy for this Autumn weather.

4. Set aside time each day to plan your day on paper. Half an hour well spent can save you time in the long-run.

5. Have a designated workspace. Try not to work from your bed or the couch. Make certain spaces in the house ‘work-free’ zones.

6. Talk to your partner about what your expectations for each day are likely to be. For instance, Matt is studying exams again, but I have emotional needs that we need to address when he finishes work each day. So from 5 pm -6 pm will be designated ‘us’ time, and from 6 pm-9 pm he’ll study. After 9 pm, no screens and relaxing activities only. Phones are banned before we leave the house, outside of alarms. Bedtime at 10 pm. No one needs to be staying up late and getting run down right now if they can help it. We owe it to our families and ourselves.

7. Bring back the phone call! Remember how we used to talk on the phone at night growing up? Now is the time to make regular calls to your friends and family, just because. There’s something deliciously retro about phoning someone for a catch-up. Indulge.

8. Play classical music.

9. Restrict the amount of time you spend reading articles online or using social media. If it is triggering, turn it off or delete your apps until further notice. If something important is happening, someone will tell you - trust me.

10. Go and swim in the sea.
    
    Today was windy but sunny, and after a somewhat miserable morning I felt like I was about to have a panic attack in Briscoes, I saw Richie Hardcore put up a post suggesting an idea to deal with anger and anxiety. The idea was to go and jump in the sea.
    
    So I got home and Matt and I went to Oriental Parade together. We walked firmly down the beach into the sea before diving in. The cold hit me like a ton of bricks, waking my dull senses. I gasped for air and kicked my legs. Swimming out to the raft, I felt the ocean take me, pushing and pulling me around like a metaphor come to life as to how I’d felt the last three weeks. Choking on saltwater felt scary, but also at least real and tangible. It felt good to FEEL something real.
    
    Matt and I climbed the raft and looked across at the beach, the only ones in the sea. It gave us a moment to appreciate how beautiful Wellington remained. Even though it was cold, that cold was what we needed. A kick in the guts; a slap in the face; “Wake Up!” said the world “We’re still here!” The ocean will still swell, the bird will always fly, the wind will still blow. The seasons will come and go. This is just a chapter, a seismic re-awakening of our lives. A chance to re-align ourselves with what we value.
    
    Swimming back, I deliberately thrashed in the water, and put my head under and screamed twice. Coming back out, we got a snack at a nearby cafe and sat on the grass. Apart from extremely sore ears from the leap into the sea off the raft, normalcy once again appeared to descend on everything around me. It could have been any day of any year. It made today better. That brilliant, sharp cold water.

To quote Matt Haig “One day this will be over. And we will be grateful for life in ways we never felt possible before.”

Going forward, I might write about this again. But for now, I want to catch you up with everything which happened on my wedding day, my honeymoon, share some new ideas for your Autumn wardrobe and provide tips for a happier, healthier life - as well as sharing stories of Wellingtonians I admire.

Life will go on.